For the past four or more years I have been treated for Addisons’ disease, being told I have had it from birth. I have been on large doses of steroids, causing my body to be bloated, puffy, having high blood pressure and many other complications.
I have prayed and prayed to God to heal me. I have been sick and tired of being sick and tired. I was not feeling well or getting any better at all.
I decided to go and see a new Endocrinologist. My last one basically said to go home and live with it. My new doctor asked me to go and have some tests done. She was not certain I really did have Addison’s at all, although I do have all the symptoms!
Last week I dreamt I was watching myself being operated on behind a pale lemon curtain. The doctors and nurses were wearing blue cotton medical garments. Although I could not see the face of the patient, looking at the feet poking out from underneath the sheet, I knew they were mine.
Yesterday was make or break. It was the day I was to receive the results from my blood and other tests. My doctor said she was going to be blunt with me, and not to be angry with her. She was a little concerned because she was going to go out on a limb and go against what all the other doctors have diagnosed me to have.
Her first words were,’ I do not believe you have Addison’s!’
‘You don’t? That is wonderful news,” was my reply. How could I be angry with such great news?
Then what the hell do I have? Why have I been on steroids for all of these years for nothing? Why did I still feel so unwell?
She asked me about my life.
God, where do I start?
When I was 10 I was sexually abused. Not long after that I was hospitalized for meningitis. I became withdrawn and was sent to a psychiatrist for sessions. I didn’t tell him my deep, dark secret. At 13 I had endometriosis. At 16 I was told I wouldn’t have any children and to get married if I wanted any chance. I married my boyfriend so I could at least try. That didn’t work, so I had to take other measures to conceive, although not before going through all the adoption avenues etc. My husband was in a serious car accident, where his brother was killed. That changed everything for our marriage, and it never fully recovered. I was in and out of hospital for many problems over many years, having a hysterectomy at 27 and my ovaries removed at 32, being just two operations that left railway tracks on my body.
All of this, and more happened before I was 32!
Since then I can’t even go into how stressful my life has been. I am not sure you would even believe it if I did tell you.
Those who have read Messages of Love ask me where I get my strength from.
My doctor looked at me in disbelief! No wonder my fight or flight chakra has shut down, causing my adrenals to become depleted. I was emotionally and physically exhausted!
Looking back over my life I have to ask myself how much have I brought in with me from other lifetimes?
Knowing this is the life time of clearing away all karmic debts, I am sure I have had a mountain filled with them to clear and release! I am convinced my health has suffered so much from all of this releasing, I have just shut down until I have been able to softly and quietly heal my heart and soul.
I do not think I have done this by myself. I know spirit has been working on me for many years now in one way or another. I know God has given me this time to rest and rejuvenate from my many lives’ trials. I live in gratitude for my husband, Chris who has nurtured and loved me through all of this, never complaining about having to carry me when I could not take another step. He has let me sleep, rest, read in the sunshine, work when I can, and recoup my long lost energies.
It will take my body a year to adjust to not having the steroids to rely on, so easy goes with weaning off them. That’s okay, I am one patient lady.
My son and his wife have gifted me time looking after their animals while they are in America. They have just moved to the northern N.S.W beaches region. I know this time away is another gift from God in taking the next step towards my recovery and renewed strength.
I live in gratitude for my new doctor. She is looking after the practice for one I saw in hospital, when I was going in to heart failure due to a massive kidney infection…one of the doctor’s who said I had Addison’s.
God surely works in mysterious ways, because if it wasn’t for the locum doctor, I would still be treated with Addison’s disease!
The moral of this story is to never give up! Believe in miracles. Ask, believe and receive!
God will hear your prayers.
From my heart to yours in love…Jen xxx